Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i out mim tonsoeep
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
