Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
