i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
