My hair reeks of homosexuality.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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