so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
