so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
