AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
