I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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