so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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