jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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