the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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