addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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