i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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