You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
