She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
