I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Pooping to opera.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
