If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
