i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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