Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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