That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
