The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
