white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
