Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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