We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
