with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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