I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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