all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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