i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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