it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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