If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
