just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
