I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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