Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
