he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
They took my balls.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
