My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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