Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
