It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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