YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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