Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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