Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
