wakey wakey hands off snakey
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
