Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
