this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
