your room smells of hookers.
And success
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
