I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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