I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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