Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
