Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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