This girl is more easily done than said...
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
