sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
